From the Files of Rick Angry:
4/20/2014
Nick Fury is “missing” presumed dead. His superheroes are scattered. S.H.I.E.L.D. is defunct.
Hollywood keeps making movies about Nick and his Avengers and whatnot and I can tell you that he does NOT look like Samuel L. Jackson in real life. He's been Mr. Fancy Pants Hotshot ever since we were roommates in secret agent junior college and what does he have? An eyepatch? I have an eyepatch! Well where are you now, Nick? It seems that the moment of truth has finally arrived for Rick Angry.
-RA
Me in my new secret agent onsie.